![]() ![]() Research from YouGov America reported in June 2015 showed that roughly a fifth of both men (21 percent) and women (19 percent) say they have cheated on a partner.ĭurvasula said cheating is "not the norm, but not uncommon," with some estimates as high as 35 to 40 percent among those in long term but non-marital relationships and perhaps closer to 15 to 20 percent among marital relationships. ![]() In the U.S., infidelity impacts around one in three couples, according to the book After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Dr. Studies suggest that around 30 to 40 percent of unmarried relationships and 18 to 20 percent of marriages see at least one incident of sexual infidelity, according to Kilmer. Holding secrets and crossing boundaries.Feeling less dependent and making fewer sacrifices.Investing less in the relationship and comparing it more with others.Entering a negative state and avoiding conflict.Turning away from or turning against your partner."When one can't count on their partner to be available in their time of need, it leads to unfavorable comparisons, emotional distance, and eventual betrayal, if not the demise of love," explains Jinashree Rajendrakumar, a certified Gottman couple therapist from India.Īccording to Gottman, Rusbult and Glass, cheating is preceded by "a cascade of steps" or circumstances that lead to the act of betrayal. Shirley Glass at The Gottman Institute, a research group looking at relationships, infidelity begins with a bid for attention. Here are the 5 Most Common Marriage Problems I See'Īccording to Dr. 'Lawyer Up'-Internet Fumes at Man Cheating With Fiancée's Best Friend.Woman Receives Text Saying Her Man Was in Other Woman's 'Sheets': Video.It's just stupid but cheaters will come up with anything to justify." The psychologist explained: "It's a flawed argument because while a male could impregnate multiple females, if he can't ensure their safety and feeding-and the progeny doesn't make it to reproductive age-then there is no point. Difficulties in the primary relationship/unhappiness in the marriage (not getting your emotional needs met in the relationship and therefore being more vulnerable to interest in others, Kilmer explained).ĭurvasula added that some men cheat because of "stupid rationalizations based on human evolution." This refers to a "biological expectation" that men would want multiple partners to maximize reproduction and choose younger partners for "fertility reasons.".Certain personality styles like narcissism and psychopathy.Being able to compartmentalize in general.Being able to compartmentalize sex and intimacy and their own primary relationship.Difficulties with emotional intimacy (such as "not being able to bring up emotional needs and the consequent negative feelings getting in the way of loving feelings," said Kilmer).Low self-esteem (a desire for reassurance that one is desirable).Eve Kilmer, a psychologist and certified emotionally focused therapy (EFT) couples therapist based in Boulder, Colorado: One of the many questions that circle the minds of those who have been cheated on is "Why?"ĭurvasula said the reasons for infidelity in relationships are "complicated and varied."Īmong the common reasons why people cheat in relationships include the following, as outlined by Durvasula and Dr. iStock/Getty Images Plus Why Do People Cheat in Relationships? The reasons for infidelity in relationships are complicated and varied. Here health experts explain why people cheat, how common infidelity is and how you can recover from it.Ī couple in bed with their backs turned from each other. "We can also see self-blame," a person blaming themselves for their partner's betrayal and "post-traumatic stress reactions," she added.Īccording to some studies, the victims and perpetrators of infidelity frequently experience "negative intrapersonal outcomes," such as a decline in self-esteem, increased risk of mental health problems, guilt and depression, explained an April 2014 study published in the peer-reviewed Journal of Family Psychology. The act can "activate old losses, traumas, betrayals, and raise issues including anxiety, depression and strong grief reactions," she explained. Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist and professor at the California State University, Los Angeles, told Newsweek: "The psychological impact of relationship betrayal cannot be understated." Infidelity is one of the most difficult situations a person can face in a relationship and can have serious health consequences for those involved.ĭr. ![]()
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